Fascinating love,
begins quite early in most of our lives. At around 13-14, maybe.
Whoa! Those ‘ T E E N A G E ‘ years. *Sigh*
When,
flaunting the new beguiling biological changes withing us & our bodies,
daydreaming about opposite sex or what they call ‘crush’,
looking happening & hot almost always especially in front of ’em,
counterattacking parents for almost everything
& last but the most central,
‘assuring your own self and the entire universe that you’re ready for love to invade your exaggerated heavenly fancy world and for it to last forever’
were the sole purposes of our existence on earth. For most, at least.

Even if girls didn’t take it too far by hallucinating their dream man riding a horse, running towards ’em to give a kiss of life and love until eternity &
‘i-don’t-how-boys-fascinated-about-their-love-&-wonder-if-they-even-thought-about-it-as-they-had-something-else-too-intriguing-to-dream-about’
but still dreamt and wondered about how that
one guy/girl, one love
will change their lives forever only for good
& how it was everything they wanted
& how life would’ve had been sorted.

And baaaaaaaam! Life did change.

They met their *alleged* love. And separated.
Well, that does escalate as quickly as the above sentence did.

Many of us have been there. Many of us have been there for quite a few times.
Which is absolutely okay.
It is as rare as the full moon for the very first relationship we get into to become the last, especially if we fall for it in our teenage days. Fancy days.
Even after that, it’s alright for the next few lovers to exit soon.
‘Cause, c’mon, who are we kidding, it is our brain and age that makes us an adult but our heart? Man, it just won’t stop craving love & will remain as stupid as it can be.
Well, thanks to our child heart but our last love can either be second or third or be it whatever rank.

But what if you actually begin to love someone, at a point?
That ‘someone’ who is wrong, as they say. But never wrong to you. 
That ‘someone’ with whom, after trying 100s’ of times, you know,
it just won’t work out. 
That ‘someone’ whom you know, won’t change ever for any good. 
That ‘someone’ whom you know doesn’t belong to you. Doesn’t deserve you. 
That ‘someone’ whom you never fascinated about.
That ‘someone’ whom you never wanted to fall in love with.
That ‘someone’ – you actually love.

You killed a part of yourself the day you realized that.
It seems like the end of the world discovering the fact that you genuinely fell in love this time but with a person so wrong, so not meant for you.
Fell in love with a person and it’s just impossible to come out of it any time soon.

You begin to fear love. Fear love stories. Fear romance. Fear life. 
You just can’t stand the thought of love. 
You fear those movies and books that depict love.
You just can’t adore couples anymore ’cause the pain in you is so deep & mighty that it overcomes the admiring and the loving side of you.
You fear talking love.
You fear feeling love.
You.
Fear.
Love.

What once was everything you dreamed about & wished for,
is now what you cry about.

What once you fascinated about, is now what you fear.
Walking stabbed
with arrows at my back.
Fearing love.

Ananya.


-Ananya, the verbal seduction.💓

 

 

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